0 Comments
then that I had forgotten now. In a lot of ways I have allowed my fears to take over my life again. Fears of never being enough, of not knowing what the future has in store for me, of making the wrong choice in my life and relationships. When I wrote that blog post I was in a high vibe state. I was motivated and ready to take on the world. I was working out, working on my spiritual life, I was working hard to conquer my dreams. However, then I allowed myself to get in my own way.
This week I got a good dose of my own medicine. I was at Six Flags over Texas with my family, standing in line to ride, The Riddler. For those that are unfamiliar with this ride, it is an incredibly tall contraption that spins as it swings you higher and higher into the air. It was terrifying to stand there and watch as they filled the seats and sent people swirling (while screaming) into the sky. I will be honest, for a good solid moment I almost chickened out and pulled my step dad from the line to move on to the next one. Then something magical happened. I took a step back and realized that my fear was getting in the way of me going on a ride that I was really excited for. It wasn't that different from other rides that I had ridden before. No one was crying or seemed to be hurt from the experience. It was simply my own mind standing in my way. So, I took a deep breath and pushed my self farther and farther into the line, one step at a time. End result? I had a freaking blast with my step dad and made a wonderful connection with the girl who sat next to me. I went hurtling through the air with a huge smile on my face and was so proud of myself in the end for pushing myself to getting on. This very instance reminded me of just how much fear stands in the way of me going after the life that I want and has the potential to turn out as a very great experience for me. We encounter things everyday that test us and ask us to push past our comfort zones. I am terrified of heights. To the point that I cannot ride the Farris Wheel without having an anxiety attack and crying. Yet I will be in that line to get on it if my family decides to ride it. I am also deathly terrified of clowns. This past Halloween, I went with my friends to project fear and ended up almost hyperventilating in a ball of tears because I was surrounded by clowns in a strobing room where they would get closer and closer. They literally broke character to ask my friends and I if I was ok and to make sure that I was still breathing. I knew they would be there. I was a knot of nerves before even entering the building. However, I love haunted houses and knew I wanted this experience with my friends. We bonded so much through that night but it never would have happened if I had let my fears get the better of me. I guess what I want you to take from this is that there will always be something to fear. Getting a new job, talking to that boy or girl you have had a crush on for the longest time, leaving a toxic environment to enter a world of unknown possibility, trying something new. The fear will always try to stop you. It is your minds natural instinct. You get to chose though how you will proceed and if you will allow that fear to get in your way. You are right, you don't know what is waiting on the other end. Is it worth is though if you never get the chance to find out? Are you missing out on a wonderful opportunity to grow and experience something that could potentially change your life? The choice is ultimately yours.
I am a strong believer that each and everyone of us are the rulers of our own life. We spend our lives building our kingdom from the ground up. We are raised to rise farther and to conquer our dreams. Over the years I have latched onto the idea that I am a Queen. In all honesty, this concept really stuck when I began my spiritual journey. As a Christian they refer to God as the King and as his children we are therefore princes and princesses. I really enjoyed this imagery. I always had a hard time praying but when I thought about it, I could visualize myself walking up to a throne and approaching this might familiar king. When I stepped away from the Christian church and began seeking my own truth. I found Darienne from Darienne Empire and man did my perception change. She too comes from a Christian background but her practice is one of love and honor. She spoke to me as a fellow Queen and everything just seemed to click into place. This is what I know now. I am a badass Queen. I rule my own kingdom. I hold the power over my life and what I want it look like. I am a beautiful, confident, strong, and powerful woman. I have my own unique journey. I have my own unique connection to God. I decided what I will and will not accept into my life. I am ambitious and determined to live my dreams and I am taking the steps necessary to get me there each and every day. I am putting in the work to build myself and my career. I am growing. I am surrounding myself with a grounded, strong, and supportive court that is working both with and for me to help me rise to my greatest potential. I would like to have a King, yes, who doesn't want love. However, I NEED one and I will not just settle for a joker. I worth so much more then that. I deserve a King who is strong, stable, supportive, grounded, honorable, and chivalrous. One who will respect and love me, as I do him. I will not settle for a mediocre life for the sake of fitting in and conforming to the status quote. I have goals and dreams, with time and work I will shape my life into one I will be proud of. So, here is to all my Kings and Queens out there on their quests to building their kingdoms. Don't settle. Know that you are worth more than this world. You are worthy and loved. Your dreams are possible. The relationships you want are possible. Don't allow others to tell you how to rule. Follow your heart and intuition. Learn from your mistakes and grow. Let go of your old ways and people who are holding you back. Don't allow procrastination and lack of a plan keep you stagnant and overwhelmed. Do the work. Make a strategy, then pick up your sword and fight for the life you truly want. You've got this! Take back your crown and rule your kingdom!
I discovered my love for writing in the 4th grade and was fortunate enough to have teachers that really nurtured and used this love to help me succeed. They would take my work and read it, giving me great feedback at the end of each day. They gave us extra credit writing assignments because trust me I needed it. Haha. I wasn't the most focused student growing up. I much preferred reading under my desk and writing in my notebooks over solving equations. Growing up I found that writing was, and still is, my escape from the world. It has been one of the only constants in my life and in a lot of ways it has made me who I am today. Just knowing that at any moment I could escape into a world that I created, where I have total control, helped make the mundane grind of every day just a bit easier. In my life today I have to kinds of writing in my day to day life. My novel, and this very blog.
This blog is a pretty new development and I am still learning what works and what does not work. I am still very much finding my voice on this new platform. What content I enjoy writing about and that people enjoy reading. That is partly why I wanted to do the June with Jess series in the first place. To open this platform up and to allow me space to find what I like to create here. So far my posts here are very free flowing. I don't do a lot of planning or structuring. I am just taking the prompt for the day and seeing where it takes me. I am loving it. With novels I am currently working on a story that I am super excited to share with the world. With its code name being 'Project Voodoo', you can be sure that is encompasses epic magic, far away lands, and creatures unlike anything you have seen before. It is still in the outlining stages but that doesn't make it any less exciting. I am already so in love with my characters and their world that I am just starting to get acquainted with. I am typically a pantser when it comes to writing stories. I like to let the story flow and see where it goes but I tend to get stuck that way. During this round I am using the 'Save the Cat' system and so far I am really enjoying it. Save the Cat is really helping me to dig deeper into my world, characters, plot, and subplots to develop a deeper more well rounded story. So I guess now I would classify myself as a plantser. Planning enough to know the story but loose enough to still have surprises. I am excited to really start off in these journeys and to see where they lead me. For now though, I am just flowing with it and having fun with all I am creating. Are you a writer? How much planning goes into your writing?
Over the years, I have noticed that though my life have changed and morphed through different stages. There are core values in all of the goals and dreams I have set my mind to.
My dreams as I see them now? Firstly, I want to help the world and everyone/ everything that lives here. Today this manifests in that I want to be a Professional Tarot Reader and Astrologist. Tarot and Astrology have helped me with so much growth and healing in my life. I would love to share this awesome tool I have found with those that really need it. I also want to be a spiritual life coach. I want help myself and others find their true powerful selves and own it. I want to take my kick ass powers that I am using to change my life and teach others how to do the same for their own. As you can probably tell, I am unconventional and want a life that is unique and different from the status quo. I want to own my own business. I don't see myself working your traditional 9-5, stuck in an office somewhere. I see myself working primarily from home or in a cute metaphysical shop that I open myself. I want my business to primarily be online with some in person work as well. I want to be a successful author. I am currently writing my first novel. It is still in beginning stages but I see where it can go. I can people enjoying it and I cannot wait to share it with the world. I would love to see my name one day be on the best seller list. I would love for people to read my work and enjoy it. I know in my soul that I have what it takes, I just have to get there. I also know that I will get there. I find that I have the deep want to be seen. This one manifests in many forms in my life. I see it in this very blog, my Instagram account, my YouTube Channel, when I am on stage performing. I long to have a voice in this world and to be truly seen. For my content to make a difference. I am a creator to my core and I long for a like minded audience to share it with. I am ambitious through and through but I am also determined to get to where I want to go. I am making my dreams a reality. I know that it will take time and energy to get there but I also know that I WILL get there and when I do it will be worth every ounce of the work I put in. Your dreams are just as important and I hope that you are putting in the effort to get where you want to be also. The world is your stage, you get to decide the story you tell. Make it a good one! |
Welcome!Life is a journey that we all go though. Each journey is vastly different from the next. Yet we are all able to connect to one another through our experiences. We are able to learn from someone else's struggles and victories. Here, I want to share mine with you. Categories
All
Archives |